literature

Midnight Madness

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Literature Text

Welcome back kind sir.

It's been awhile hasn't it? What have you been up to, your same old tricks? Maybe so, maybe not. Don't talk to me in riddles, my friend, for riddles make me sick. How sick? Very very much so. I should see how much I can type before midnight.

MIDNIGHT MADNESS!
Yes.

Midnight Madness is simply a celebration of great importance where absolutely nothing maddening happens at midnight. There are several circus tents strung up along the concrete islands of the mid-town square and many citizens of the fine metropolis intermingle and gather balloons of various shades, colors, and hues. Some are shiny and some are even pointy. The balloons I mean, not the tents. The people are also not pointy, though some do point at the various foods and drinks sold by the lunch wagons. A horse neighs and people applaud it for not drinking whiskey and they clap while eating sourdough bread. Why do they call it sourdough bread when it isn't even sour? Good question. But yeah, the people enjoy this sweet-and-not-sour dough bread and flip quarters to determine who plays the next carnival game. Oh my word yes, the games.

They have this new game where you shoot a BB gun at duck decoys and whenever you miss a duck, a stuffed dog on the end of a mechanical claw ascends from beneath a tarpaulin and guffaws at your failure. They wanted to put beards on the ducks and blast Creed out of dollar store speakers and call the game Duck Dynasty, because the town is extremely lazy and absolutely unoriginal. But I heard about that game and got confused because the game should have been making fun of Daffy Duck and Duck Dodgers and not Duck Dynasty. Hell, have them make fun of Ducktales and just have the "awoooo" sound on repeat and with different voices and pitches until it starts sounding like a dubstep song.

Speaking of which, the pitch-til-u-win game is rigged and "u" cannot win. So technically you'll be pitching til you're bitching and the guy running the game will just smile at you and your failure with his dollar store false teeth and a false sense of self-righteousness and flow.

Welp, time's up for this edition. Listen up next time and I'll spin you a yarn about a princess and a giant peacock and then make a mitten out of the yarn. So yeah, come back next week and I'll probably not have another story for you.

Now that wasn't so bad, now was it?

Fin.
It's a fire sale and everything must burn up. Don't burn anything, you don't own it.

I apologize for both my randomness, my lack of good sense, and also I apologize for my randomness and lack of tact. And how I can't finish a sentence or end this.

Sorry for my randomness.

I love you very much Sandra and I hope you are doing cool.
© 2013 - 2024 slimoracle
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