slimoracle

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Midnight Madness by slimoracle, literature

Literature

Midnight Madness

Welcome back kind sir. It's been awhile hasn't it? What have you been up to, your same old tricks? Maybe so, maybe not. Don't talk to me in riddles, my friend, for riddles make me sick. How sick? Very very much so. I should see how much I can type before midnight. MIDNIGHT MADNESS! Yes. Midnight Madness is simply a celebration of great importance where absolutely nothing maddening happens at midnight. There are several circus tents strung up along the concrete islands of the mid-town square and many citizens of the fine metropolis intermingle and gather balloons of various shades, colors, and hues. Some are shiny and some are even pointy.

The Voice From the Radio by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Voice From the Radio

I hate having to wash the dishes. But if I want to have pork chops for supper tonight, I’m gonna have to wash the dishes. My only cutting knife lies within a tangle of chocolatey spoons and the hilt has a strange gray skin-flap looking thing on it and there’s no way in hell I’m just washing the knife off to use it. Plus something in the proximity of my sink smells rotten and I hope to God it isn’t my knife. The water comes out in a slow trickle like it always does when the neighbors are using the water. If this was happening to my shower, I’d just take a shower later. But with my pork chops in the oven and 21 mi

A Life Not Worth Celebrating by slimoracle, literature

Literature

A Life Not Worth Celebrating

A life not worth celebrating??? Are you serious? From what we've talked about in the days since we met, you've been through a lot in your life. You've been through some rough shit in your past that would send most men running for the hills. But I'm not. That's not what you need. You don't need a guy that hears about the three kids you lost and goes "welp, can't deal with that; have a nice life". Nope. I remember when you asked me what I'd do if I got you pregnant when we weren't prepared for it. I said I wouldn't run. Well, it's true I wouldn't. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had a child out there somewhere and that I left the

The Pinnacle of All Finesse by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Pinnacle of All Finesse

On a night like this, I pour out a shot of cherry Pinnacle vodka into a Stolichnaya vodka snifter, or more accurately, a shotglass. It's not much of a shot really as more of the piss-warm vodka that sat on my floor in its alluring blue bottle on the floor during my little dinner date with a certain burger monarch condenses into the shotglass. I thought I may have filled it too full but a closer analysis seems to indicate that I barely put no more than a thimbleful of cherry Pinnacle into my shotglass. I don't know percentages off the top of my head; it ain't graduated. I swish it around in the glass to coat all of its porcelain glass surfaces

The Never-Ending Buffet by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Never-Ending Buffet

The Redundancy of "The Never-Ending Buffet That Never Ends" by; Michael R. DeWitt The concept of a 'never-ending buffet that never ends' may be redundant. Indeed it truly is. The reason for this redundancy is that I'm accentuating the fact that this buffet is infinite in length, hence the addition of the predicate 'never ends'. But the concept itself is inherently flawed in that our discussion hinges on the fact that we'd be in hell for obese and overweight people. Because of my atheistic beliefs, I do not believe in the existence of an exothermic afterlife such as hell. Therefore, by the algebraic theory of transference, the every idea tha

The Politics of 9-11 by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Politics of 9-11

The terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 were a huge blow to us. 2,998 people who were just going about their everyday lives were killed when four planes were hijacked by 19 radical Islamic terrorists and crashed into the World Trade Center in New York, the Pentagon in Washington D.C., and a field in Pennsylvania or in the subsequent collapse of the World Trade Center and one side of the Pentagon. It’s the modern day equivalent of Pearl Harbor, “a day that will live forever in infamy” to quote former President Franklin D. Roosevelt. Like Pearl Harbor in 1941, 9/11 was the catalyst that brought the United States into war. But

Harvey and David by slimoracle, literature

Wii Didn't Start the Fire by slimoracle, literature

Literature

Wii Didn't Start the Fire

Wii Didn't Start the Fire by: Michael R. DeWitt For once in my life, I was actually camped out in a line somewhere. No it wasn't for that inept Happy Feet movie or the bastardation known as TMX; it was for the awe-inspiring new console from Nintendo, the Wii. I had been standing in front of Target for the past five days and I was bored out of my mind. I brought a lawn chair and my drawing notebook and decided to draw some of my characters playing the Wii. By the time W-Day arrived, I had drawn Rorikori Clavicula, Neronix Spanner, the Floating Fetus of Doom and Devastation, and Lady Redd (all characters of mine, (c) Michael DeWitt 2002-20

ZOMG ELEMINTARY SKOOL: Chet by slimoracle, literature

Literature

ZOMG ELEMINTARY SKOOL: Chet

ZOHMIGOD ELIMINTARY SKOOL! by: Michael R. DeWitt Well, where to begin? CHET Sitting outside the kindergarden room where the other students were fingerpainting pictures of their kitties or doggies, cutting paper to attempt to make paper snowflakes, or using the same hands and the same paper to make hand turkeys, five year old Chet sat Indian-style on the floor of the hallway with his hands shoveling handfuls of tasty white paste into his mouth. This was his third container of paste, he had discovered the treasure trove of paste in the teachers' supply closet when he went for a wee break. Apparently nobody noticed the missing paste, because

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Midnight Madness by slimoracle, literature

Literature

Midnight Madness

The Voice From the Radio by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Voice From the Radio

A Life Not Worth Celebrating by slimoracle, literature

Literature

A Life Not Worth Celebrating

The Pinnacle of All Finesse by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Pinnacle of All Finesse

The Never-Ending Buffet by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Never-Ending Buffet

The Politics of 9-11 by slimoracle, literature

Literature

The Politics of 9-11

Harvey and David by slimoracle, literature

Wii Didn't Start the Fire by slimoracle, literature

Literature

Wii Didn't Start the Fire

ZOMG ELEMINTARY SKOOL: Chet by slimoracle, literature

Literature

ZOMG ELEMINTARY SKOOL: Chet

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Eternal Darkness by Destiny1147, literature

A Moment of PassionShe stood by Destiny1147, literature

'My Best Friend'He is my stre by Destiny1147, literature

'Love and Despair'Love is kno by Destiny1147, literature

Literature

'Love and Despair'Love is kno

"Love and Despair" Love is knowing you are the most important person to someone else. Love is the warm glow in that person's eyes and knowing it is reflected by your own. Love is that no matter how bad your day is that one person can make it all better by just being there. Love is the warm embrace of his strong arms wrapped around you. Love is the wonderful feeling of a kiss that sends shivers down your spine. Love is when your heart skips a beat when that special someone walks into the room. Despair is the void in your heart when they walk away. Despair is knowing that the hurt you've caused can never be healed. Des

About slimoracle

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Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

Sep 26
United States
Deviant for 20 years
twitter.com/#!/deweytv
He / Him

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My Bio

I'm slimoracle, real name Michael DeWitt. I'm not really on here as much anymore because I don't have a lot of time to write these days. I happen to be a licensed elementary school teacher now, so whoopee.

I'm known on here for writing stories that usually have some kind of twist ending to them, or more than likely, for my ongoing novel about my Morrowind character called DisOriented Visions. I decided about two years ago to discontinue writing DV the way it is right now. I've rewritten some of it and I like it a whole lot better.

I think that maybe I'll use this account to experiment with different story ideas I have. I've always wanted to write crime fiction or detective stories. Something different.

Favourite Visual Artist

Rene Magritte

Favourite Movies

Porky's 3: Porky's Revenge, Battle Royale, Hot Fuzz

Favourite TV Shows

WWE Monday Night Raw, Impractical Jokers, Unsolved Mysteries

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Daft Punk, Savage Garden, Ke$ha

Favourite Books

The Stand, The Art of Living, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Favourite Writers

Stephen King and Tom Clancy

Favourite Games

EverQuest, Secret of Mana, Skyrim

Favourite Gaming Platform

Tools of the Trade

Notepad, Wordpad, Word, and pencils

Posts

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slimoracle

Feb 6, 2013

A Change in the Winds

0 min read

As you may know, I've been trying to write a story based on my Morrowind character called Slim Oracle since around 2005. I started writing it some in high school around the time that I created this account on here, but it wasn't until '05 when I started really compiling it. I had a Notepad file on the side that had a complete chapter list so I could keep the narrative straight. That particular file caused a real nice writer's block around 2007 on my 71st or so page. I figured a reboot and hard reset would fix my writer's block. This time, I threw out the guidelines and just wrote what I felt like was the proper narrative. This time, I only go

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slimoracle

Sep 16, 2010

JASON DERULO!

0 min read

Two years. It's been two years since I've been here. Wow. Anyway, stuff has happened since November 2008. Let's go chronologically. In September 2009, it was last semester at UMPI. I got to see a WWE house show at the Bangor Auditorium, my first wrestling show since I saw Hacksaw Jim Duggan get DQ'd in a match in Bangor when I was a younger slimoracle. One week later, I got into a car accident. I was and still am fine, but my car was not fixable. I got used to walking six miles roundtrip to go to Wal-Mart. I graduated with my BA in International Studies, history concentration, last May When 2010 rolled around, I spent six months working at

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slimoracle

Nov 3, 2008

I'm a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points

0 min read

October, my favorite month of the year usually, sucked majorly. During the first week of the month, I took my fourteen year old car to VIP in Presque Isle to get its yearly inspection. Just like last year, VIP failed it and I had to pay to get it fixed. Originally the total cost to defog one headlight and to replace the [u]perfectly good[/u] brake lines with new ones was to cost me $245. Well, after they slashed the brake lines, they had a [i]little[/i] problem reattaching them. Add one more hour of labor and I ended up giving them crooks ~$350. A new record! They still wouldn't pass it because, get this, my rocker panels were rusty. Uh, hel

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Profile Comments 132

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rainylake

Sep 27, 2013

Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day

-Kathy

DreamON-Mpak

Sep 26, 2013

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Let the new year of your life be filled with happiness, joy, love and luck .. Let your problems be solved easily and your friends always be around you and make every day a better .. Keep being yourself and do not forget that art will save the world.. Let art be always with you .. Be Deviant!

Let your friends cheer you with wonderful gifts { but do not forget that the most - valuable gifts in life are not material }

Your neighbor in ~DreamON-Mpak

birthdays

Sep 26, 2013

!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

It's September 26^th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team